i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
