oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
