We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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