Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
