I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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