dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
