talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
