when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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