Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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