I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
