I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
