I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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