if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
