Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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