im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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