well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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