That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
