now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
