come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
