He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
