Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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