We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
