I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
