Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
if only i could text you this smell
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
