i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
