i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
