Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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