No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
