I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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