ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
