You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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