Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
