Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
