don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
