I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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