so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
