He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
third nipple confirmed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I need to calm my uterus...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
