I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
