i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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