I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
