All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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