either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
