I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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