she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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