I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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