She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
