Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
