fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
