Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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