How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
