i don't plan on having that self control this summer
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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