new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
