i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
