talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
